The girl with the anatomical weirdness.

Homework, Trouble & Issues, Website Related 4 Comments »

Well, things could be worse. For instance, I could have the size of an elephant or the IQ of a monkey. Instead, I get the wonderful, great, hilarious anatomical weirdness. Apparently, the entrance towards my sinusses (is that even English?) is too narrow, which blocks whatever-it-is-that-is-stored-in-a-sinus to get out of it, or even visa versa. To be honest, I have no idea what this rarity does, and I’m too scared to look it up. Anyway, as soon as the doctor figured out my anatomical weirdness, as I like to adress it, he decided a surgery was in order. So, on march the 13th, the day of doom is there. Yuck.

I’ve never had surgery before, apart from when I was about six years old. I’m kind of nervous already, but I’m also quite confident that everything will work out just fine. After all, he’s just going to get into my bloody brain (actually my forehead, but I like to think my braincells expand till there). On a brighter note, this might actually grant me some presents (maybe a Sims II Expansion Pack or a Buffy Season on DVD…or something else from here!) and presents always cheer me up.

Oh, what else have I been upto? Not that much, I must say. School has been a bitch again, bombarding me with homework ranging from French vocabulary to a maths homework that talks about Matrix(es) yet fails to reveal any more information about The Matrix (the film…) to me, which actually makes it a lot less fun, if you get my point. We also have a photo-assignment to do, for Religion class, which might actually be fun but probably won’t anyway. Oh well :) School’s a bitch, but it’s a destiny we all share together, right?

I’ve also been kind of looking into some jobs I could do during the summer holidays. It takes up a lot of my time, and I actually hate doing it. But it’s still better than studying…I’ll let you know what my search ends up with too!

The most cheerful news is probably that I’m finally working on a new design for my homepage, which was a little empty up till now. The design will be the Web 2.0 all the way, but I still hope to give it a personal touch. :)  Pictures of prereleases and thoughts and such coming soon.

Take care everyone, and I hope you don’t get diagnosed an anatomical weirdness very soon. It’s not as funny as it sounds. ;)


You would think people atleast have SOME decency!

High-School Drama, Homework, Trouble & Issues 4 Comments »

Grrr. Let me begin by saying that I’m angry, mad, pissed off, stressed out and finding myself having a hard time to breathe, on top of all that. What for? you may ask. Well, apparently certain people in this world tend to believe in the easy way out for everything. Doing half-arsed group assignments, only translating a third of the pages, and finding a bloody excuse for everything. I for one am definately fed up with people trying to take advantage of me.

It’s not that bad that they ask my help during an English assignment. I know I’m good at English, I know I’m at the top of the class and translating something in English only takes me a minute. I can understand why they want to copy my entire maths homework, even though one of them is fairly decent in maths. I don’t even mind that they have copied every mathematical homework we had to do this entire year. I’m fine with that: I can see that certain people can do maths and others can’t.

I never ask them anything in return. Although I have a pretty busy life, I never wanted them to do a homework for me or to write an essay for me. To be honest, I prefer doing it myself because atleast I learn something that way. I admit that I have been on the verge of asking a couple of times, but I never did. It’s just that when it’s the third homework in one week that they copy, that it kind of gets on my nerves. But I let it go, I relax, take it easy, telling myself that stressing over it will do me no good anyway. But this…this is just too much.

I’m decent at French. My best friend is a genius at French. Fair enough, she does do it slowly and puts her time in every French essay she writes, but her Mom is a French tutor and in my opinion, she enherited atleast some bit of talent towards the language. I dislike French: too many rules and I just don’t have a feeling with it. If I want to prepare a decent French essay, it literally takes me hours. Now, alright, what should be done has to be done. So during the holidays (this week) we had to make a group assignment. The four of us. It was a one way ticket to Hell.

We usually get along great, we’re friends and have known each other for ages. That’s not where the problem lies. When we met up at A. ’s (for the sake of not mentioning their real names here) house, there were no real problems either. We had to type atleast three pages, but we only finished one in about four hours time. Surely, that might be slow, but we wanted it to be great for some of us (heh…me) have some grades to catch up on the subject. Since we still had another two pages to go and not that much time on our hands, we decided to split up. Yesterday, C. and I made the second page together and today, A. and B. would finish up the essay. Not a good plan, I might add.

Well, it took C. and I another four hours yesterday to finish the second page, constantly looking up things in the dictionary (VanDale, the fat and heavy one). Now, C.’s Mom teaches French herself and she is always happy to recheck our group assignments, she always does it when C. and I write an essay together. Of course this comes in real handy, but we never take advantage of it. Lets say that perhaps we do not translate one or two things we really don’t know in an entire essay, or so. All the other stuff we look up or try to find solutions for; it’s just that when we really don’t know how to put it, we ask C.’s Mom. Now, eventually we finished our part of the essay yesterday after another four hours of hard work and sent the file to A. and B. so they could round it up today.

Let me tell you, what I received in my mailbox about twenty minutes ago, was by no means a finished essay. They even had the guts to say: “A. did not bring her dictionary, so there were a couple of things we could not look up. Maybe your Mom could translate them, C.” Yes, A. has a nifty dictionary on her computer, which is quite helpful: just type a word and you’ll find everything the VanDale has to say about it. But I don’t have such awesome software installated, nor does C. We have to rely on nothing but the old-fashioned, heavy, slow dictionary in the shape of a book and we have to manage it just like that. So, saying that “we didn’t have A.’s dictionary” is a bloody meaningless and stupid excuse. Who cares whether or not you had some software to rely on? C. and I were searching FOUR HOURS in a row in a bloody book to find the expressions and words we needed! The text you people came up with was not nearly half as good, and a third of it is Dutch rather than French! Could you atleast have the decency to try and use a BLOODY DICTIONARY!

Pfew. It seems like I’m getting stressed out a lot about this and I’m sorry. It’s just: I could have been doing a lot of other things too yesterday afternoon, but no, I rather fulfill my duty and keep searching in that dictionary until I practically knew half of it out of my head (so to speak, of course). More even, saying “Maybe C.’s Mom can do it” so carelessly, is a sign of totally no respect and uber-lazyness. What, you think C.’s Mom will like having to translate twenty sentences to French? You think she will do it gladly? We should be thankful that she atleast wants to check our essays, now you want her to write half a page for you! You know what I call that? Taking advantage! And you people have taken advantage of me, and now you’re trying to take advantage of C.’s Mom. Well, it’s not going to work. Not anymore.

When I let you copy my homework everytime you ask, and never want anything in return, I atleast expect you to have the decency to write a proper essay. C. came to my place yesterday for four hours too to search up things: she could have easily begged her Mom to write it for her too. But she’s not like that and I’m not like that. I rather work a few hours more than letting someone else do the hard work for me. But you people are not like that: you like taking advantage of people. I know you barely try doing your homework anyway, and if you had the decency to open up a dictionary you would easily find half of the English expressions you ask me. However, it was my mistake that I never minded helping you. You have grown accustomed to me always giving in and letting you take advantage of my hard work. But not anymore. Yes, I will look up some of those sentences and translate them to French. Sure, I will once again do work that you people should have been doing. But I will do it for C. so she does not have to do all the work on her own, because I know she won’t just go to her Mom and ask her to translate the damn thing. It just something she would never do, asking others to do the work for her. And it’s something I would never do either.

So now, this is my message to A. and B. although they will most probably never read it anyway (most offline people don’t know about the existence of my website) : I’m dissapointed in you. I thought you were more than some lazy cows. Don’t think I will forget this: I might keep on talking to you and I might pretend to even like you, but I will always remember what kind of lazy-bones you people really are. I will especially remember it next time you ask to copy my homework or want help with an assignment. Don’t be surprised when the answer is: “No, and fuck off.”

Thanks for listening to my rant, people. ;)


Creating a Guestbook in WordPress

Tutorials & Snippets 2 Comments »

Phew. Seems like I have finally found the time to write this tutorial, although I have been intending to write it for ages now. Since my WordPress system already runs on a whole bunch of Plugins (some more useful than others, I can assure you) I did not really feel like adding another one to create my own WordPress-powered guestbook, especially not when the same can be done easily by just some tiny bit of coding. So, I dived into the WP Templates and found an easy, simple and understandable way to turn an ordinary page into a Guestbook.

First, go into your Theme Editor (I’m assuming you know your way around WP atleast a little) and check your template files. You will notice one of the files in called Page Template. Hint: You can search for it in your FTP Programme, there it is entitled page.php and typically residents somewhere in your wp-content/themes/ folder. In case this file is not present (what the heck? How does your blog even work?) it is time to make one. In this example, I will use the default Page Template to keep things easy. Most ordinary Page Templates have the same coding, so it will not differ a lot anyway.

<?php get_header(); ?><div id=”content” class=”narrowcolumn”><?php if (have_posts()) : while (have_posts()) : the_post(); ?>

<div class=”post” id=”post-<?php the_ID(); ?>”>

<h2><?php the_title(); ?></h2>

<div class=”entry”>

<?php the_content(’<p class=”serif”>Read the rest of this page »</p>’); ?>

<?php wp_link_pages(array(’before’ => ‘<p><strong>Pages:</strong> ‘, ‘after’ => ‘</p>’, ‘next_or_number’ => ‘number’)); ?>

</div>

</div>

<?php endwhile; endif; ?>

<?php edit_post_link(’Edit this entry.’, ‘<p>’, ‘</p>’); ?>

</div>

<?php get_sidebar(); ?>

<?php get_footer(); ?>

This is how the Page Template looks like in the default WP Theme. In most themes, the class tag (narrowcolumn) is dropped, but apart from that it is most likely to look exactly the same. Now, lets dig into the Page Template. By some small amount of thinking, we can easily conclude that this is the Template WordPress automatically searches for and uses when we create a page. What the WP Codex also tells us that we can, in the Page Editor, select a different page template than the default one. So, if we would like a certain page, such as our Guestlog, appear a little different than the other pages (which we do), all we have to do is create a new page template, using the exact same coding, change some bits here and there and add a title to it. Now, it did not take me too long to come up with that one, but I can understand that some people might look at their screen by now thinking: What in God’s name are you talking about? So, I’ll tell you step by step.

First, copy your Page Template theme into an empty file. In case you do not use a special, fancy HTML Editor, NotePad is still the most popular programme for Windows users (since I don’t own a Mac, I don’t know what standard programme is present there used for HTML coding). By copying I mean, open the page.php file, select everything in it, click right and select copy, then go to your empty NotePad file and paste. That should not be too hard, now, eh? In case you cannot find your Page Template or something, you are welcome to copy the code presented earlier in this tutorial too ;)

Next, we will have to give the template another name. If we skip this step, it is most likely that it will simply replace our ordinary Page Template. We don’t want that. I choose the convenient name of “Guestlog” for it, but you can also play around with names a little, ranging from “Guestbook” to “Visitor Log” to “Davy Jones’ Locker” but I suggest you keep it clean and easy, so you don’t forget later on why you created that special Page Template. Now you have thought of a name for your super spiffy page, here’s how you should add it. Simply add the following under your <?php get_header() ?> tag:

<?php

/*

Template Name: Guestlog

*/

?>

You can choose the Template Name to whatever name you picked. In case you do not really know where exactly to put it, here’s an example of how the beginning of your Guestbook Template coding should look like.

<?php get_header(); ?>

<?php

/*

Template Name: Guestlog

*/

?>

<div id=”content”>

  <?php if (have_posts()) : while (have_posts()) : the_post(); ?>

Now, we have coded a page that will serve as our guestbook. However, if we just sticked to the regular page coding, there would have been no need to create a special Template for it. Of course, the geniuses amongst you will have figured out by now that there will be another few bits of coding that will have to be edited. Thank God that the WordPress Pages already have comment features, or life would be a whole lot more complicated for us (as would this tutorial be). Simply add the following line above the <?php endwhile; endif; ?> tag.

<?php comments_template(); ?>

This will load your default comments template, causing both a comment form to show up as well as comments. Basically, that is all a guestbook needs. For those having trouble locating where exactly to put the Comments Template calling code, here is an example of how the Guestlog page should look like eventually. (When you use the Page Template of the default WP theme.

<?php get_header(); ?>

<?php

/*

Template Name: Guestlog

*/

?>

<div id=”content” class=”narrowcolumn”>

  <?php if (have_posts()) : while (have_posts()) : the_post(); ?>

    <div class=”post” id=”post-<?php the_ID(); ?>”>

        <h2><?php the_title(); ?></h2>

        <div class=”post-content”>

   <?php the_content(’<p class=”serif”>Read the rest of this page »</p>’); ?>

   <?php link_pages(’<p><strong>Pages:</strong> ‘, ‘</p>’, ‘number’); ?>

        </div>

    </div>

<?php comments_template(); ?>

  <?php endwhile; endif; ?>

  </div><!–/content –>

<?php get_sidebar(); ?>

<?php get_footer(); ?>

Save your file as guestbook.php or guestlog.php or whatever you want to call it, as long as it has the extension .php and does not have the same name as one of the files already present in your theme. Now, since I have the Paged Comments Plugin enabled (which you should do too: it automatically reverses comments, therefore putting the latest first and every 10 comments you can go to a next page, which is what guestbooks really need) this is where my journey ends. In case you do not enable the Plugin, I suppose your Comments Template needs a few more tweakings here and there, but I’m not getting into that since I have not really tried it myself when creating my Guestlog.

Now we have reached the final steps of our journey in Guestblog land. All there is left for us to do now, is go to the Write menu in the Admin Panel, choose Write Page and type an intro for our Guestbook. For example: Welcome to my Guestlog place. You are free to sign my Log if you see fit, but please refrain from Spamming it. Do not forget to enable comments (would be silly to have a Guestbook no-one can comment on) and choose Guestbook as template. Publish.

Now your Guestlog should be ready. A small word of advice still though: guestbooks even more than comment systems have the tendancy to fall victims to SPAM. Of course this is a true disaster, but there are various WP Plugins out there that can prevent SPAM. If you enable them, they will automatically work on your Guestbook page as well. I recommend you Spam Karma 2, Bad Behaviour and Akismet. Preferably all three of them. :)

I hope this tutorial helped you out and you were able to quickly create your own Guestbook without using any Plugins whatsoever. If however, you do not understand parts of the tutorial or it simply does not work for you, etc. you are free to ask questions on this thread. Please refrain from asking such questions in my Guestlog though ;) Which you can, btw, view here. Enjoy.